


More Than My Heart

by silentfive



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:53:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22022869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentfive/pseuds/silentfive
Summary: In Your Eyes AU - For all the opportunities it provided, being a child prodigy also had disadvantages. Jemma Simmons talked and wrote circles around the other kids in her class, advancing quickly and participating in special programs populated with kids twice her age. It was hard to make friends when one was surrounded by older kids that wanted nothing to do with a tiny know-it-all. On an especially bad day, where Jemma felt hopelessly alone and misunderstood, she heard his voice for the very first time.
Relationships: Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons
Comments: 5
Kudos: 36





	More Than My Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [besidemethewholedamntime](https://archiveofourown.org/users/besidemethewholedamntime/gifts).



> Happy happy holidays to besidemethewholedamntime, my Fitzsimmons Secret Santa giftee this year! Your prompt was this beautiful quote: "You have my heart but you also have my breath caught in my lungs. Each bone in my spine, each bone in my body. Every muscle aches and surges with you. You have so much more than my heart. You have everything it keeps alive." and I decided to write an In Your Eyes AU where Fitzsimmons have a metaphysical/telepathic connection in spite of them being complete strangers in different parts of the world. This has a lot less drama than the movie that inspired it, but I think we can all agree Fitzsimmons have earned the break. ;) There is a fluffy playlist to listen to as you read as well! Thanks for everything you do for the fandom and the wonderful fics you write. Hope you enjoy and have the happiest new year!

**More Than My Heart, a Fitzsimmons fanfic**

**_I see everything you can be  
_** _ **I see the beauty that you can't see**  
 **On the nights you feel outnumbered**  
 **Baby, I'll be out there somewhere**  
_ Outnumbered by Dermot Kennedy

[ **Listen to the playlist** ](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1Y_w_XOdiTcLRPPPgQ6682tbRumqSeDb)

-

For all the opportunities it provided, being a child prodigy also had disadvantages. Jemma Simmons talked and wrote circles around the other kids in her class, advancing quickly and participating in special programs populated with kids twice her age. It was hard to make friends when one was surrounded by older kids that wanted nothing to do with a tiny know-it-all. On an especially bad day, where Jemma felt hopelessly alone and misunderstood, she heard his voice for the very first time.

Usually the older kids simply ignored her or gave her strange looks, but on occasion an exceptionally vile one would bully her in a more hands-on manner. That particular day, several weeks after her seventh birthday, a squad of girls grabbed the books from her arms and dumped them down a storm drain while she looked on helplessly. Their parting gift was a swift shove to the ground that left her with a scratch on her elbow and a bump on her head.

The sound of their jeering as they walked down the block was drowned out by an unfamiliar gasp. She looked around for the source of it, thinking someone else had witnessed her humiliation. Her vision seemed to be blurred by tears.

No…

She realized that she was no longer sitting next to the storm drain that had become the world’s most impractical bookshelf. Instead she was looking down at the gangly arm of someone sitting on a twin bed. There were monkeys printed on the sheets below, nothing like the pale purple sheets on her own bed at home.

“Are you okay?”

The question echoed softly in her head. It washed over her like a pleasant breeze and calmed her sobbing breaths to slow, quiet heaves.

“That hurt...” she heard him say, rubbing his elbow where she could feel the sharp sting of her fresh cut. He sounded all at once confused, concerned, and amazed, which she could relate to.

“I’m just so tired of this,” she admitted, too defeated to be properly afraid. “How am I supposed to make friends with people who treat me this way?”

“I… I could be your friend. Fitz. Your friend Fitz. If we’re going to be, you know, sharing heads, we should probably be friends.”

Jemma smiled through her tears. It was certainly a good point.

“I think I’d like that, Fitz,” she whispered back.

Within a few minutes of meeting, for lack of a better term, Jemma felt as though she had a new best friend. Her first best friend. They spoke in that unreserved way that children do, tripping over words in their excitement to tell a story, sharing whatever their imagination could create. She barely slept that night, giggling as loudly as she dared while showing him her favorite books by flashlight. When she finally drifted off, it was to his voice reading a passage from The Hobbit, one of his favorites.

It didn’t take Jemma long to realize that she should keep her conversations with Fitz a secret. At first, she told everyone who would listen about her best friend who lived inside her head and talked to her about the stars and science. Her parents thought it was sweet for the first couple of months and then she began to notice their uneasy glances any time she mentioned Fitz’s name. When she was eight, they took her to see a psychologist who asked her all sorts of questions about him.

After that, she learned to keep Fitz to herself. That was how she liked him best anyways. Nobody else understood her like Fitz and even if he was just a figment of her imagination, he helped decipher her myriad of thoughts. He could follow the scientific ramblings that often left even her parents staring at her blankly.

As they both grew up, as her brilliant mind was accentuated by study and experience, Jemma began to question their connection. She was a scientist through and through and there was no explanation for being telepathically linked to a perfect stranger. She started to understand her parents’ uneasy glances from childhood. The far more logical explanation was that her brain worked differently, that Fitz really was all in her head.

Yet there was no way to describe how she felt when they spent hours sharing their thoughts with each other. The connection didn’t feel wrong or dangerous; it felt like coming home.

When she was old enough to do things like buy cell phones and plane tickets, Jemma couldn’t bring up meeting in person, though she felt the nearly constant urge to. She suspected they were both secretly afraid that the other wasn’t real as Fitz was equally silent on the subject. Once they tried to reach out using a method other than their heads, they would have to face the truth, whatever it turned out to be. She wasn’t ready yet. Their bond was too important and to lose it would be devastating.

She also couldn’t explain why, if it was all in her head, they would bicker so much. Not that Jemma was bothered by it - quite the opposite as being challenged made them both come up with brilliant ideas - but it made sense that her head would conjure up a perpetual companion who was generally more agreeable. Fitz could be fantastically grumpy when things weren’t going his way… or when he hadn’t had any breakfast.

If only he would take her advice about a balanced diet, but Fitz loved anything deep fried and covered in sugar. Something else they didn’t agree on.

Life continued for them both, at once separate and intertwined. There were times when they didn’t speak for weeks, caught up with work and life, but eventually they find their way back to those soft conversations. Jemma looked forward to them more than anything else.

“I met someone,” he said one day when they both had one PHD in their pockets and she was well on her way to a second. Her stomach dropped. In an abstract sense, she knew that he had been on a few dates, but it was the one thing they didn’t talk about too much. Romantic entanglements were short-lived on both sides. For Jemma’s part, nothing compared to the intimacy of sharing her life with Fitz, if not in the physical sense.

“Tell me about her,” she replied even though her heart felt a bit like it was breaking. Jemma was alone in her apartment but kept her voice low out of habit. Over the years, they’d gotten used to the looks from people thinking they were talking to themselves, but they still did their best to be discrete. It took him a moment to answer and she wondered if he heard. Part of her wished he hadn’t.

Then, in an equally soft voice, Fitz told her about a beautiful woman in one of his classes who showed a lot of interest in his projects. His voice engulfed her like it always did, the familiar lilt such a comfort. She decided that if this is all they had, it wasn’t so bad. She loved him and loved that he sounded so happy.

When she told him as much, he went quiet again briefly. Jemma imagined him blushing in the sweet way that he did whenever she complimented him during their discussions in front of the mirror, on those days when words weren’t enough. Rough days when she needed to see the unique blue of his eyes or the way he smiled with all his teeth when they made a breakthrough.

The times that he was sad or hurting were the times she believed most vehemently that he was real. If it was in her power, she would never do anything to cause him suffering, this man with a gentleness she could feel deep down inside.

“I want you to be happy too, Jemma. You deserve it more than anyone I’ve ever known.”

It was her turn to blush.

“Thank you, Fitz.”

To Jemma’s relief, this entanglement didn’t last long either, just long enough to shift her perspective. The time had come to know if Fitz was out there somewhere. If there was a way they could be together in every sense, she knew nothing would make her happier. Fitz was a part of her; if he wasn’t real, that would still be true. If he didn’t feel the same, their friendship would survive. She was sure of it.

There was nothing to lose and everything to gain. With that in mind, she closed her eyes and reached out to him.

“Fitz, I have something important to tell you. Do you have time to talk?” she tentatively questioned.

The familiar sight of his desk popped into her head and she knew he was at home, just as she expected him to be. They’d been wrapped up in a design for a non-lethal weapon for the past couple of weeks and had been spending most of their free time at their workspaces.

The warmth of his presence flowed from her head to her toes.

“For my secret lab partner?” he said. “Of course.”

“I know we’ve never talked about it before, but have you ever thought about meeting in person?” she asked with bated breath. “Because lately I’ve been thinking that I want to see you.”

She paused and, before she lost her nerve, told him the whole truth. “I want to be with you.”

Fitz’s shocked silence seemed to stretch on forever, giving her plenty of time to panic, but his response was worth the wait.

“Jemma, you read my mind,” he replied, his blissful tone making her laugh as much as the cheesy joke. She _loved_ him and he loved her.

They made plans to meet the next day at her favorite place in Greenwich Park, since it was easier for him to take time off work and fly across the Atlantic Ocean on a potentially crazy whim.

The moment she first saw him was one she would never forget. He was looking at the ground and she could see her own feet through his eyes as she drew closer. That would certainly take getting used to. However, nothing could compare to the thrill of being close enough to touch Fitz for the first time, of confirming what she’d known deep down – that he was out there waiting for her.

“Jemma,” he gasped, meeting her eyes.

“Fitz.”

His smile shone so much brighter in person.

“Finally,” he said.

Their bodies came together like magnets, seeking each other the same way they had almost all their lives. Fitz’s lips touched hers and it was as if she could feel him inside and out. The sensation was beyond what she’d imagined.

“I knew that if we had the chance-” he broke off and released a delighted chuckle that made Jemma’s heart soar. “It was meant to be like this.”

She kissed him again, unable to resist now that he was in front of her, solid and _real_.

”Like what?” she asked once they separated.

“Us. Together. The universe knew from the start, that’s why we could hear each other,” he answered, as though it were obvious.

Jemma scoffed.

“The universe doesn’t know things, Fitz,” she began to argue, but the fond smile on his face caused her to trail off. Who was she to burst his bubble? Also, if she were honest, she didn’t have a better explanation. Perhaps that could be their first truly collaborative science project.

“Though I can’t argue that from the start, you’ve had so much more than my heart.”


End file.
